Day 30 – 17 years later

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17 years ago from today God blessed me with my first child…she was my blessing and my responsibility from that point going forward and I have seen her blossom from that little girl who never wanted to leave my side to this beautiful teenage girl who has dreams of becoming a dancer and psychologist. The world is in your hands mija..don’t ever let anyone make you feel less than the amazing person you are and if you have dreams..follow them ..God will protect you. I love you and I know that I am not the perfect mom but I have more love in my heart for you than you will ever know….HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

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Day 24 – My Reflection

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For a few weeks now I have began taking time to look at my reflection and asking myself am I living my life the way I was created to live my life or am I just passing by the days, existing and getting through my to do lists. This self-reflection, I have accomplished often and every time I have the sense that I am falling short of my purpose here on earth.  My problem is that I have the desire, passion, want and commitment to follow through on this pre-determined plan for me, but I just don’t know where to begin.  There are certain things that I must let go before I find this path and I have come to realize that it is fear; fear of the unknown, fear of pain, fear of losing.  If I could only let go and seek Him first, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33.  This life isn’t about me yet I consume my day with so many things that I NEED to complete and NEED to take care of NEED to finish but what about His needs?  How does one release these selfish habits? To give all my faith His kingdom and all other things will be given.

See my life is pretty simple, well as simple as it is going to get right now but I have intentionally created this simplified life to make room for my spiritual growth but I find myself at the same place as year later; but this year I am determined to make some movement, changes and a difference.  I will continue reading, praying and living my life in a renewed state of mind.  I am hoping by this time next year, my path will look much differently than it does today but this can not be accomplished on pure desire alone.  This I do realize and I am willing to work had, cry more and bleed for this passion of mine and I must have faith that if I release my fears that He will show me my way.

Day 21 – A picture can speak a thousand words

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For starters, I did not take this photo.  Instead, my son did and for a few years now, he has been exploring photography.  He enjoys experimenting with conceptual photography and I have taught him the basics behind photography and Photoshop.

Recently my son took this photo of himself and posted it on FaceBook and yes I am one of his friends and yes I knew about this photo before he even uploaded it to FB. He even asked me to help him edit it! Well a week after he posted this photo, he was called to the office and the school psychologist asked him several questions about this photo and if there are any issues in the home they should be aware of and then proceeded to tell him that he needed to remove this photo from FB immediately. So my problem is that 1) the school psychologist decided to question my son without my permission or knowledge of this meeting about a photo that was taken off school grounds and in my home. I wasn’t even made aware of this meeting until my daughter asked what my thoughts were about this meeting and I was like…”what meeting?”. See, I understand their logic/concerns, especially if one doesn’t understand expressive photography then this image might cause some concerns but what I don’t understand is why I wasn’t contacted and informed of their concerns before they started questioning my son? Maybe I could have given the school some insight about this image.  So that was my first issue, my 2nd was how can the school demand my son to remove an image off his FB page? A page that is set on private and an image that expresses his creativity.  I support my son 100% behind his creativity as long as he is not harming others or am I just being irrational and bias because this is my son and I understand his creativity?

Day 18 – Freedom of Speech

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Freedom of speech…freedom of expression. Do we really have this right as Americans? Do we have the freedom to express ourselves as individuals or do people mistaken freedom of speech as the open opportunity to judge one another? What I don’t understand is when did most politician die and become God? Why is society in general so judgmental? Why do we put pressure on our children to be so perfect and dictate who they should or should not love? Really? At the very end, we all will have to face our Maker and until then, don’t look down on anyone because they are not living their lives according to your expectations!  What makes anyone better than the next person? What?? Because you have a few more degrees than the person standing next to you..who gives a rats ass!? Or because you are pro-life and anyone that doesn’t fall into your group of beliefs is not worthy..F you!  What?  Or maybe you were created to only use your left brain instead of your right and you lack the ability to live a creative life and then scorn ones work if you don’t approve or understand? What is this world coming to? A world of hate, lack of faith,  selfishness, self-indulging, instant gratification and close mindedness to expression!!

What one decides to do behind close doors that doesn’t involve affliction, death or destruction then should be our/their own damn business! Not the neighbors, parents, Senators, Pastor or schools!!!

Ok, let me get off my horse for right now. I could continue but I will stop here.

Day 17 – 10 Commandments to Parents

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1. My hands are small. Please don’t expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a picture or throw a ball. My legs are short. Please slow down so that I can keep up with you.

2. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have. Please let me explore safely. Don’t restrict me unnecessarily.

3. Housework will always be there. I’m only little for such a short time. Please take time to explain things to me about this wonderful world, and do so willingly.

4. My feelings are tender. Please be sensitive to my needs. Don’t nag me all day long. (You wouldn’t want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness.) Treat me as you would like to be treated.

5. I am a special gift from God. Please treasure me, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by and disciplining me in a loving manner.

6. I need your encouragement and your praise to grow. Please go easy on the criticism. Remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.

7. Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then someday, I’ll be prepared to make the kind of decisions life requires of me.

8. Please don’t do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn’t quite measure up to your expectations. I know it’s hard, but please don’t try to compare me with my brother or my sister.

9. Please don’t be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it’s a great way to show us kids that your marriage is very special.

10. Please take me to worship regularly, setting a good example for me to follow.

by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown

I’ve held on to the piece of paper A Child’s 10 Commandments to Parents for over 14 years now and for years, I’ve always wanted this hung on my walls better yet tattoo’d all over my forearms! Really, I should have this mounted for a daily reminder to my little one.  My last little one is so precious yet my mind and day races by so quickly that I forget at times how young she really is compared to the rest of us in the household. These young innocent days will pass by quicker than I desire and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow wishing that I took more time and more patience to cherish these moments, these moments today that I can feel slipping through my hands quicker than sand.  Every day, I ask myself what can I do differently? How can I slow down my pace yet still provide for my family? How can I unwind at the end of my day without becoming stressed in the process.  Where do I begin? God, Faith, a book about God and Faith. How do I reprogram my mind to slow down?

 “Will one live for your own goals, comfort, and pleasure, or will one live the of your life for God’s glory, knowing that he has promised eternal rewards?