This is something I wrote almost a year ago and thought I’d post it here so I could document some of my thinking…
I don’t want to talk!
There are so many people in my life circle
Yet so far and few in between that understand me
Or even really know me
What makes me tick and what ticks me off!!
My outer shell is reserved..quiet and caring..but there is so much more
But if one would just take the time to peel back the layers
One would understand me and appreciate me!
Sincerely embrace my thoughts, my views, my opinions, my tears, my fears, my heart
What makes me or breaks me down to my knees
What warms my heart and uplifts my spirits
Instead some are intrigued by my outer shell and just want to learn enough to scrap the surface for them not to feel guilt of selfishness
And then they question..why does she hold back, why does she not disclose, why won’t she pick up her fucking phone?
Why?? Why you ask..because so many “friends” are so fucking transparent…so selfish and so fucking clueless
Once they arrive at their final destination then I am just another contact in their list
The contact list a mile long of layers that never were appreciated or undiscovered
So don’t judge me if I wish not to entertain and pointless conversation if you don’t want to take the time to invest in me..us..the journey of life, of appreciation
The time to work at something that is so fragile and delicate is apparently too much of a burden for some individuals
Work that requires time, love and a fucking heart