Day 6/Lesson 4

Today this lesson is difficult one because what I am feeling has really upset me today and I am unable to shake this. Fear immediately has sunken in and I must just have faith.

These thoughts do not mean anything.
They are like the things I see in this room
[on this street, from this window, in this place].

Unlike the preceding ones, these exercises do not begin with the idea for the day. In these practice periods, begin with noting the thoughts that are crossing your mind for about a minute. Then apply the idea to them. If you are already aware of unhappy thoughts, use them as subjects for the idea. Do not, however, select only the thoughts you think are “bad.” You will find, if you train yourself to look at your thoughts, that they represent such a mixture that, in a sense, none of them can be called “good” or “bad.” This is why they do not mean anything.

In selecting the subjects for the application of today’s idea, the usual specificity is required. Do not be afraid to use “good” thoughts as well as “bad.” None of them represents your real thoughts, which are being covered up by them. The “good” ones are but shadows of what lies beyond, and shadows make sight difficult. The “bad” ones are blocks to sight, and make seeing impossible. You do not want either.

This is a major exercise, and will be repeated from time to time in somewhat different form. The aim here is to train you in the first steps toward the goal of separating the meaningless from the meaningful. It is a first attempt in the long-range purpose of learning to see the meaningless as outside you, and the meaningful within. It is also the beginning of training your mind to recognize what is the same and what is different.

In using your thoughts for application of the idea for today, identify each thought by the central figure or event it contains; for example:

This thought about ___ does not mean anything.
It is like the things I see in this room [on this street, and so on].

You can also use the idea for a particular thought that you recognize as harmful. This practice is useful, but is not a substitute for the more random procedures to be followed for the exercises. Do not, however, examine your mind for more than a minute or so. You are too inexperienced as yet to avoid a tendency to become pointlessly preoccupied.

Further, since these exercises are the first of their kind, you may find the suspension of judgment in connection with thoughts particularly difficult. Do not repeat these exercises more than three or four times during the day. We will return to them later.

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Day 5/Lesson 3

Today I will focus on clearing my mind of fear .  Fear can overcome me at times and sometime it can defeat me.  But not today!

I do not understand anything I see in this room

[on this street, from this window, in this place].

Apply this idea in the same way as the previous ones, without making distinctions of any kind. Whatever you see becomes a proper subject for applying the idea. Be sure that you do not question the suitability of anything for application of the idea. These are not exercises in judgment. Anything is suitable if you see it. Some of the things you see may have emotionally charged meaning for you. Try to lay such feelings aside, and merely use these things exactly as you would anything else.

The point of the exercises is to help you clear your mind of all past associations, to see things exactly as they appear to you now, and to realize how little you really understand about them. It is therefore essential that you keep a perfectly open mind, unhampered by judgment, in selecting the things to which the idea for the day is to be applied. For this purpose one thing is like another; equally suitable and therefore equally useful.

Day 4/Lesson 2

More often than not, I have said to myself “you know, you have come a long way from where you have started…but you aren’t done yet..Not even close!” meaning that there is a lot of pavement that I have not allowed for Him to lay down in my life as of yet. Why? Well I guess for several selfish reasons but that’s neither here nor there and I am in the place right now where I am ready to turn this chapter in my life in order to better myself and everyone around me.

Ok, so let’s rewind for a quick moment..so this all started in 2002 when I had pretty much hit rock bottom (again!) but this time was different, this time around I prayed, listened and responded. God has heard my cries many times before and blessed me with miracles but I really never took the time to listen, just received and kept living my life until disaster hit again. Well God sure does work in wonderful ways because I was on the verge of just giving up. I was single with two young children, living off barely anything. In two years, I moved from my best friend’s attic, to an empty office space, to an efficiency apartment in the city, to a one bedroom, to my fathers spare room, to a 2 BR apartment on top of someones garage and eventually lost custody of my son!! Yes it was a whirlwind that just never wanted to end!! All I wanted was the best for my kids and I felt like I just wasn’t cut out for this part in life and I was failing them tremendously!!

Well I don’t remember all the steps involved but ultimately God led me to this woman who I worked with who knew that I was in pure agony without me saying a word. She came by my desk one day and said “you should read this, it will change everything..trust me”. She placed this booked called A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles” on my desk. I just glared at this book thinking “really” I HATE reading!!! Why must I do this? Wait I have a choice and for a few days it got tossed around from my desk, to my purse, to my car and eventually back on my desk and this is where I began reading the book. Instead of going out for lunch, I decided to open up this book and force myself to read! This co-worker spoke very highly of this book so I thought I’d give it a try. Wow! How I allowed this book to change my life was unreal! She shared a reflection on A Course in Miracles and her insight on the application of love in the search of inner peace and forgiveness. First of all, before reading this book and understanding what it took to love myself and others, I had no way to love anyone around me. Yes, I was clueless but this book brought light to my life!  I could go on and on about this book for pages and pages but my point here is that God works miracles!! Everything changed from that point forward and I told myself that one day, I must be disciplined enough to read A Course in Miracles and I have told myself for almost 12 years that I would do this and every time I began, I would stop!! Well here we go again and I somehow want to incorporate daily readings of the bible into this goal of mine!  I was able to accomplish this today, but this is just day one!! 

Lesson one:
Nothing I see in this room [on this street, from this window, in this place] means anything.

Lesson two:
I have given everything I see in this room [on this street, from this window, in this place] all the meaning that it has for me.

A Course in Miracles is a complete self-study spiritual thought system. As a three-volume curriculum consisting of a Text, workbook for Students, and Manual for Teachers, it teaches that the way to universal love and peace—or remembering God—is by undoing guilt through forgiving others. The Course thus focuses on the healing of relationships and making them holy. A Course in Miracles also emphasizes that it is but one version of the universal curriculum, of which there are “many thousands.” Consequently, even though the language of the Course is that of traditional Christianity, it expresses a non-sectarian, non-denominational spirituality. A Course in Miracles therefore is a universal spiritual teaching, not a religion.

“This is a course in miracles. It is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. Free will does not mean that you can establish the curriculum. It means only that you can elect what you want to take at a given time. The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.”This Course can therefore be summed up very simply in this way:

“Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.Herein lies the peace of God.”

By mystorymyperspective Posted in Life Tagged

Day 3 without social media

The day after my 38th birthday, I decided to eliminate Social medical including but not limited to Facebook, Instagram and tumblr with the one exception of twitter (but only ONE page) for 30 days straight!  This decision was made based on the amount of time that I spent updating, commenting, searching, liking, viewing, and using social media as a crutch to stay in touch with family and friends.  It was becoming more and more apparent the need for me to remove this crutch from my life as I laid in my bed for hours(!) looking at this device while my youngest would ask me a question and I would tell her “wait one moment as I update my post” or “wait a minute as I read this comment” or “just give me a minute until I am done…I am in the middle of something”.  Something? Really I was in the middle of an illusion of this non-existent time that I had built into my life, this wedge, this emptiness and just so willingly throwing away my time..for what? Self gratification to have the knowledge of what 130 of my so-called friends that I never speak with were doing in their life? I had created this special list on Facebook that was labeled “close friends”, well this is where I placed all my family members ,best friends and the love of my life in and this is how I kept up to date with their lives..REALLY???  Every morning when I logged into FB, I made sure I checked this list first to see what they have done, what links or photos they liked and view any pictures they uploaded.  After that I consumed the majority of my time viewing the other friends on my list and yes, this consumed hours and hours of my day.

For me, social medial (AKA Facebook) was becoming too time consuming and I had nothing to show for it.  My creativity was quickly declining or how about non-existent, my communication skills aren’t the best to begin with and this sure in the hell didn’t help and everything around me was quickly on a decline.  Now you are probably asking yourself..”Does all this circle back to being on Facebook too much” well not completely but I do know this…it wasn’t helping, it wasn’t making anything better, it wasn’t giving me more time or awareness.  More time to focus on my spiritual interest, my desire to become closer to God, time with my family and the man who I love.  It was just an invisible sponge that was sucking away my life, my time with my loved ones time, time with friends, time in completing my daily tasks at work.  Everything was getting put next or on the back burner and yes for Facebook.

So I needed to make a decision…to become more aware.

“the mind is everything what we think is what we become”

By mystorymyperspective Posted in Life
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Friday’s night drive

Friday's night drive

February 22, 2013 was one of the nicest birthday’s that I’ve ever had in a LONG time.  In the past, I never really cared to celebrate these days because I always thought about it as just another day.  This this past weekend was so different! I can’t even exactly explain the feeling of love that I felt but it was amazing and so is this man I have fallen in love with. I hope that he realized everything he means to me and how much he has changed my view about life.  This path of mine doesn’t seem so lonely anymore.  I love you Roger! Thank you for being you! Thank you for caring! Thank you for loving me! I don’t know if I could ever express enough to you how much you mean to me but there will never be a day that I don’t tell you or take you for granted!