More often than not, I have said to myself “you know, you have come a long way from where you have started…but you aren’t done yet..Not even close!” meaning that there is a lot of pavement that I have not allowed for Him to lay down in my life as of yet. Why? Well I guess for several selfish reasons but that’s neither here nor there and I am in the place right now where I am ready to turn this chapter in my life in order to better myself and everyone around me.
Ok, so let’s rewind for a quick moment..so this all started in 2002 when I had pretty much hit rock bottom (again!) but this time was different, this time around I prayed, listened and responded. God has heard my cries many times before and blessed me with miracles but I really never took the time to listen, just received and kept living my life until disaster hit again. Well God sure does work in wonderful ways because I was on the verge of just giving up. I was single with two young children, living off barely anything. In two years, I moved from my best friend’s attic, to an empty office space, to an efficiency apartment in the city, to a one bedroom, to my fathers spare room, to a 2 BR apartment on top of someones garage and eventually lost custody of my son!! Yes it was a whirlwind that just never wanted to end!! All I wanted was the best for my kids and I felt like I just wasn’t cut out for this part in life and I was failing them tremendously!!
Well I don’t remember all the steps involved but ultimately God led me to this woman who I worked with who knew that I was in pure agony without me saying a word. She came by my desk one day and said “you should read this, it will change everything..trust me”. She placed this booked called A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles” on my desk. I just glared at this book thinking “really” I HATE reading!!! Why must I do this? Wait I have a choice and for a few days it got tossed around from my desk, to my purse, to my car and eventually back on my desk and this is where I began reading the book. Instead of going out for lunch, I decided to open up this book and force myself to read! This co-worker spoke very highly of this book so I thought I’d give it a try. Wow! How I allowed this book to change my life was unreal! She shared a reflection on A Course in Miracles and her insight on the application of love in the search of inner peace and forgiveness. First of all, before reading this book and understanding what it took to love myself and others, I had no way to love anyone around me. Yes, I was clueless but this book brought light to my life! I could go on and on about this book for pages and pages but my point here is that God works miracles!! Everything changed from that point forward and I told myself that one day, I must be disciplined enough to read A Course in Miracles and I have told myself for almost 12 years that I would do this and every time I began, I would stop!! Well here we go again and I somehow want to incorporate daily readings of the bible into this goal of mine! I was able to accomplish this today, but this is just day one!!
Nothing I see in this room [on this street, from this window, in this place] means anything.
I have given everything I see in this room [on this street, from this window, in this place] all the meaning that it has for me.
A Course in Miracles is a complete self-study spiritual thought system. As a three-volume curriculum consisting of a Text, workbook for Students, and Manual for Teachers, it teaches that the way to universal love and peace—or remembering God—is by undoing guilt through forgiving others. The Course thus focuses on the healing of relationships and making them holy. A Course in Miracles also emphasizes that it is but one version of the universal curriculum, of which there are “many thousands.” Consequently, even though the language of the Course is that of traditional Christianity, it expresses a non-sectarian, non-denominational spirituality. A Course in Miracles therefore is a universal spiritual teaching, not a religion.
“This is a course in miracles. It is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. Free will does not mean that you can establish the curriculum. It means only that you can elect what you want to take at a given time. The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.”This Course can therefore be summed up very simply in this way:
“Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.Herein lies the peace of God.”